10 Things Guys Should Know About Women
efore we embark on this adventure together I wanted to let you know a little about me and what makes me tick. I am a lover of life, yes all of it, the up’s and downs and the good and the bad. Life is journey and I love to travel down this winding road with a smile and a heart full of curiosity. I have a gypsy heart, a stripper’s hustle and the sense of humor of a salty old sailor who’s seen his share of worldly ports. You never know what I will do, or what will fly out of my mouth but I can guarantee it will make you both scared and excited.
Part of the my love of life is observation and I love to people watch. Living in the Magic City I have plenty of opportunity to people watch on the daily. With that being said I have noticed that men have a hard time understanding women, and yes, we are complex unicorns with magical personalities full of contradictions, but really, we aren’t all that difficult once you get to know all our personalities. So I came up with a scientific list fueled by partial intellect, loud music, strobe lighting and beer…yeah I wrote this sitting in a bar, don’t judge me. Here you go…the 10 Things Guys Should Know About Women.
10. When we ask you what you are thinking we really don’t care, it’s just an excuse for us to drill our opinions and points home.
9. When women get together in groups we are usually raunchier then most men, yeah I said it. We are less Martha Stewart and more Eddie Murphy Raw.
8. If you are dropping sexual innuendos to a woman and she is not responding the way you want, or you feel you have to explain yourself because you feel she is not “getting it”, oh trust me, we “get it” we just don’t want it from you.
7. We travel in packs, like wolves, and if you expect to get one of us alone when we go out then you better come with your A game and a wing man. If you don’t have A game and drop a half ass attempt to talk to one of us you will be shut down and the ladies will be making fun of you for the rest of the evening…trust me.
6. If you are walking with your girl and a hot woman walk in, please don’t start bumping into things like Ray Charles trying to play off that you noticed her. Trust me, we noticed her first and checked her out before you even noticed.
5. We relate dancing to sex, so if you can’t dance please refrain from grinding on our asses like a horny Chihuahua in heat. Just stand there with a drink and do the macho head nod and make sure we always have something to drink as well…we will respect you more.
4. Women are like cats, the sooner you accept that the better your life will be. When you tell us things, we hear you. If we don’t do them it is not because we didn’t remember, we just didn’t want to.
3. Not all women like to be texted day and night. Take your cue from her responses, one word or a smiley usually means she’s in the zone, doing her thing. So don’t text her needlessly all day. Now if she likes cute names, and eskimo kisses and spend her day asking you what are you up to, then by all means, text away!
2. On the topic of texting, a text does not equate a conversation! If you text more then 3 times on the same subject then pick up the phone!
1. Finally, in the movies men show their romantic side by writing sonnets, singing songs or standing outside your window with a boombox playing a classic 80’s song, in the real world romance can be so many things! Hold our hand on the couch as we watch basketball together (GO HEAT), let me eat your fries and don’t give me crap about it, get my car’s oil changed after 6K miles cause I will blow out my engine, tell me I look sexy when I am wearing my cosmic cat PJ’s and hair in a bun, still want to have sex with me when my legs are hairy and more importantly always know I am right, even when I am wrong, I am right…right?